tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7463512.post113070058027219325..comments2024-01-01T09:20:22.363-05:00Comments on Brutal Women: Feminism Sucks Because I Can't Get a ManUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7463512.post-1131005241221734842005-11-03T03:07:00.000-05:002005-11-03T03:07:00.000-05:00Vincent, you would be snapped up in a second. 29 a...Vincent, you would be snapped up in a second. 29 and British? You're a catch. Do you like tall blondes? ;)<BR/><BR/>I think you're right. I am stuck in my social circles. The B&T guys are at the bars, the creative types are the ones I meet (I'm an actress), and the "sucessful" guys are the friends of friends. Wish I could find my way into a circle of "normal" guys, but I don't think it's as easy .https://www.blogger.com/profile/18332562327941712109noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7463512.post-1130992922983174452005-11-02T23:42:00.000-05:002005-11-02T23:42:00.000-05:00I met my husband through a personal ad. A few year...I met my husband through a personal ad. A few years ago, if you'd told me I'd end up with a guy who worked in IT at a bank, who likes to play golf and is into Fantasy Football, I would have laughed at you. All my friends were artsy indie rockers or indie-rock fellow travelers. <BR/><BR/>I really think that thing about social circles is true. After a while, I just traveled in the same ones over Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7463512.post-1130954923446134712005-11-02T13:08:00.000-05:002005-11-02T13:08:00.000-05:00Maybe the problem is people get stuck circulating ...Maybe the problem is people get stuck circulating in the same social circles. One person's social circle is full of down to earth, regular folk, while another person is stuck in one populated only by lame examples of the opposite sex.<BR/><BR/>And it turns out breaking the boundaries between groups isn't easy. The internet helps. Bars and clubs help. Heck, even dating agencies help, but it's Vincent Holland-Keenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13620266525944160618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7463512.post-1130934664305055172005-11-02T07:31:00.000-05:002005-11-02T07:31:00.000-05:00True enough about experience.As for where the good...True enough about experience.<BR/><BR/>As for where the good guys are...mostly, I think they're busy with whatever it is in their lives which gives them drive. I'm not even going to go to the "join a class, take up a hobby!" advice, but I will say I think you're more likely to meet someone centered and driven on terms like those rather than in a place like a bar, where the expectations and aims Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7463512.post-1130919251705736312005-11-02T03:14:00.000-05:002005-11-02T03:14:00.000-05:00Brendan,I'd be happy to meet a regular guy. But ca...Brendan,<BR/><BR/>I'd be happy to meet a regular guy. But can't seem to find one to date for the life of me. Seriously, the guys I meet fall into one of those 3 categories. I can only speak from my experience, though, as you can only speak from yours. <BR/><BR/>You say the regular guys out there, but I'm going to have to look for them where they are. Mind filling me in on where that is?  <BR.https://www.blogger.com/profile/18332562327941712109noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7463512.post-1130878338097908342005-11-01T15:52:00.000-05:002005-11-01T15:52:00.000-05:00Kristen, I really gotta disagree with you, in a Br...Kristen, I really gotta disagree with you, in a Brooklyn sort of way.<BR/><BR/>If you're going to parse the millions of guys living in New York- one of the world's 5 most diverse cities, I'm sure- into Jersey rats, creative types, and the investment banker posse, and then assign each of those groups a monolithic worldview- wow. I'd write a blog called "Grow Some Testicles" too if those were the Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7463512.post-1130866085215513232005-11-01T12:28:00.000-05:002005-11-01T12:28:00.000-05:00There's an aspect of Dowd's plaint that has little...There's an aspect of Dowd's plaint that has little to do with gender (Kameron alludes to it in her closing remark about the "NY producer"). Perhaps many readers are familiar with it?<BR/><BR/>A friend comes to you, distraught. They feel like they've screwed up somehow, or their dream seems unobtainable, or their life just generally sucks. You patiently talk them through the issue(s), starting Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7463512.post-1130865223612008052005-11-01T12:13:00.000-05:002005-11-01T12:13:00.000-05:00Everyone brings up some good points, but honestly ...Everyone brings up some good points, but honestly there's this crazy thing that happens to men in NYC that really, truly, turns nearly all of them into assholes. <BR/><BR/>Supply and Demand.<BR/><BR/>NYC is filled with smart, sucessful, stylish, and stunning women. I tend to meet a lot of men who are looking for that combo, and let me tell you, it abounds. Women who come to live in NYC have big .https://www.blogger.com/profile/18332562327941712109noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7463512.post-1130838629298884462005-11-01T04:50:00.000-05:002005-11-01T04:50:00.000-05:00I think what pisses me off about Maureen Dowd here...I think what pisses me off about Maureen Dowd here and her film producer nemesis is that they generalise. He turns all men into misogynistic kretins, with such fragile self-esteem they'd find a woman with half a brain threatening to their very existence, she turns women into self-sacrificing, self-pitying martyrs to the cause of playing to dumb to attract a man.<BR/><BR/>I know the human brain Vincent Holland-Keenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13620266525944160618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7463512.post-1130792249426839682005-10-31T15:57:00.000-05:002005-10-31T15:57:00.000-05:00Well, to come back to the "younger man" thing: I'd...Well, to come back to the "younger man" thing: I'd argue that the allure of the younger guy isn't because he's "more virile" or has "less baggage" (ha ha this ain't alway so), but because in general, men under 40 are a lot more comfortable associating with powerful women not just as friends but also as lovers. They're more likely to have been raised in a feminist-friendly society. <BR/><BR/>My Kameron Hurleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06098854454236774225noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7463512.post-1130785036142171132005-10-31T13:57:00.000-05:002005-10-31T13:57:00.000-05:00Hi. I'm a guy; and all my buddies like smart, ass...Hi. I'm a guy; and all my buddies like smart, assertive career women. We're in our 20's and 30's, and grew up with our mom's working. So, I have to agree that Dowd is looking at a bunch of losers. <BR/><BR/>Recently, the big media item has been the marriage of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore. Moore is known as being a smart, tough cookie. Madonna married Guy Ritchie, also younger. I think Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7463512.post-1130777254705099372005-10-31T11:47:00.000-05:002005-10-31T11:47:00.000-05:00Great response to Dowd's whiny article. As a male ...Great response to Dowd's whiny article. As a male PhD student, I can assure you that nearly every guy in my department prefers smart women. Unfortunately, they don't want us. To whom at the Times do I send my article blaming all women for overlooking us nerds? ;-)<BR/> <BR/><BR/><A></A><A></A>Posted by<A><B> </B></A><A HREF="http://brutalwomen.blogspot.com/2005/10/Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7463512.post-1130773703444234472005-10-31T10:48:00.000-05:002005-10-31T10:48:00.000-05:00I get really worried at the idea that successful/i...I get really worried at the idea that successful/intelligent men only want stupid/less intelligent/subserviant women. It rings for me very like a female version of the Nice Guy's Lament- "hot women only date assholes". <BR/><BR/>One point which keeps coming up in responses to this article is about the ability of men to self-conceive as gendered, and to question the social construction of Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7463512.post-1130766774047651722005-10-31T08:52:00.000-05:002005-10-31T08:52:00.000-05:00Ah, give the lady something of a break. I know it...Ah, give the lady something of a break. I know it isn't feminism's fault, but it can get frustrating that for the most part, men have to believe that they are smarter than you to want you. I think the problem is that while we have changed, a lot of men haven't really done the soul-searching neccessary to reject the roles foisted on them. <BR/><BR/>Because I'm in law school (home to the Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7463512.post-1130731841276298072005-10-30T23:10:00.000-05:002005-10-30T23:10:00.000-05:00Thank you for so eloquently laying the smackdown o...Thank you for so eloquently laying the smackdown on MoDo. This is the sort of pap backlash journalism Susan Faludi so expertly dissected and debunked in "Backlash." Come back, Susan. The feminist movement needs you.<BR/><BR/>I have to point out that Dowd's sources are, to say the least, questionable. Both the Stephanie Brown study and the now-debunked one where high-IQ women are alleged to not Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7463512.post-1130720065249374182005-10-30T19:54:00.000-05:002005-10-30T19:54:00.000-05:00Thanks for pointing us to this article--and for yo...Thanks for pointing us to this article--and for your scathing (and funny, as usual) commentary.<BR/><BR/>The first thing that struck me after reading the article is the utter lack of any sort of blame--or even explanation--of the part men play in all of the games that Dowd describes. I of course agree with you that it seems strange to keep worrying what men want, but I also think that to the Jeff Pollethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13789663140920958914noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7463512.post-1130711386177770962005-10-30T17:29:00.000-05:002005-10-30T17:29:00.000-05:00wow, this dowd article is really causing a shitsto...wow, this dowd article is really causing a shitstorm huh? i need to go read the whole thing. in certain excerpts, it seems like she's critical of this trend away from feminism and towards narcissism, hiding the "h bomb," etc, but in others her own personal problems are somehow made to represent some big feminist paradox. which is it?? sheesh.<BR/><BR/> <BR/><BR/><A></A><A></A>Posted by<A><B>kate.d.https://www.blogger.com/profile/09967162934828397188noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7463512.post-1130708953873622372005-10-30T16:49:00.000-05:002005-10-30T16:49:00.000-05:00Heh. MoDo needs to look on her "intimidating" stat...Heh. MoDo needs to look on her "intimidating" status as a goddess-send.<BR/><BR/>Sure-fire way to get rid of tedious self-important men: tell them what I do. Pathologist - yahknow, cut up dead people..... (at least I don't wave the 12 inch long knife or the Stryker rotary handsaw at them {g} ) <BR/><BR/><A></A><A></A>Posted by<A><B> </B></A><A HREF="http://brutalwomen.blogspot.com/2005/10/Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com