September Simmer

The good news about getting a writing job is that 1) it's a writing job! 2) it pays me more than 20K a year!

The bad news is, all that extra moolah needs to start getting funneled back into stuff that I couldn't afford to do back in March.

This month I'll go back to paying two regular student loan payments that I deferred back when I was unemployed, and starting October 1st, I'll be paying a "token" rent payment of $250 to my far more fiscally responsible roommates (this basically just covers my share of expenses and maybe some book money for them).

To be honest, being able to pay *all* of my bills *and* make a token rent payment again pleases me to no end. There's nothing I hate more than feeling like I'm not pulling my share. I want to be the strong, fiscally responsible one - letting other people take care of me when I'm down is one of the most frustrating, aggravating things about being sick and unemployed. Yeah, yeah, I realize people are supposed to take care of each other when they're down, and there's the karma thing, and when I'm successful, I'll take care of others, but it doesn't make accepting kindness any fucking easier.

I'm glad to be in the place I am right now, but fuck did I have to burn through a lot of scary shit to get here.

Have I mentioned how much the last year has SUCKED??

But there's a lot of light out here on the other side.