Monday, January 24, 2005

I Can't Belive I Forgot to Have Children!

Older piece by Pollitt, very good:

A long time ago I dated a 28-year-old man who told me the first time we went out that he wanted to have seven children. Subsequently, I was involved for many years with an already middle-aged man who also claimed to be eager for fatherhood. How many children have these now-gray gentlemen produced in a lifetime of strenuous heterosexuality? None. But because they are men, nobody's writing books about how they blew their lives, missed the brass ring, find life a downward spiral of serial girlfriends and work that's lost its savor. We understand, when we think about men, that people often say they want one thing while making choices that over time show they care more about something else, that circumstances get in the way of many of our wishes and that for many "have kids" occupies a place on the to-do list between "learn Italian" and "exercise."

1 comments so far. Got something to say?

Anonymous said...

Hi Kameron,
Great blog! So good to see so many of my politics and opinions represented. I absolutely agree with you about the "necessity" of having children. For over 10 years now, I've consistently stated my lack of desire for children, and I am still consistently met with "well, you might change your mind." When I look at coworkers and friends who have children, I see womyn who have sacrificed careers, personal interests, financial freedom/security, travel, time with friends, and so much energy. And, for what? I know all the rhetoric about the rewards of motherhood, but there have got to be some womyn out there who are secretly feeling like their bodies were invaded by parasites who lived off them for 9 months, and then lived off them emotionally, physically, financially, and intellectually for the next 18 (at minimum) years! No, thanks. I'll pass on that.

Your blog is great. When you have a minute, feel free to visit mine:


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