Here's a handy Buffy episode template for Season 3: something every young, aspiring slash fic writer should keep in their toolbox.
Cold Opener:
Buffy is on patrol. She kicks vampire butt, etc., then stumbles across a person[s] killed in a gruesome and emblematic manner.
BUFFY: Ew.
*cut to opening credits*
Scene: The Library
BUFFY: ...and why did this idiosyncratic killer have to strike while Figure From My Past is in town?
GILES: Mmm. Describe the bodies again, especially the crucial little detail that sets these deaths apart from the last eight million deaths this year? *takes off glasses, cleans them, puts them back on*
BUFFY: *describes*
XANDER: I know! Let's do some research, for a change!
GILES: *glares*
BUFFY: Whatever, I've got class.
CORDY, passing by the library door: My, I'm shallow!
Scene: Cemetary
BUFFY: *kicks vampire ass*
GILES: Hey, over here! Someone got whacked in the same easily-identifiable manner!
Scene: Library
GILES: I think I may have found something. *reads from a dusty old tome* Let me translate: "...and lo, a fusty English man will read from these pages and..." *blinks* Heeeey, I'm NOT fusty!
BUFFY: Skip ahead a bit.
GILES: Yes, here we are. The MacGuffin of Qwerty'uiop! Ancient folk legend refers to an object of incredible power...
BUFFY: What does it do?
GILES: *reads a bit* Freshens breath, whitens teeth, improves fine-motor control...
BUFFY: What does that have to do with the murders?
GILES: Beats me. I must have been high when I highlighted that passage.
XANDER: *cracks wise*
WILLOW: *says something endearingly loopy*
CORDY: HELLO, I'm still shallow!
BUFFY: Yeah, whatever. Laters, everyone, I'm meeting Figure From My Past for coffee.
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Write Your Own BtVS Episode
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6 comments so far. What are your thoughts?
OK, Me, I'm all Buffy'd out. Really. Great series, for TV. But we can all aspire for better, right? You want real woman warriors who are still fighting the good fight against overwhelming odds, and against type? (All types mind you)? You'll find one here:
[http://www.lewrockwell.com/kwiatkowski/kwiatkowski-arch.html]. That's USAF Ret. Lt. Col. Karen Kwiatkowski, writing from a Libertarian perspective over at LewRockwell.com. I don't agree with all of her points or positions, but she's got a solid foundation on liberty.
Me, I like my heroines quirky, live, real, and still struggling against the powers that be, fighting the good fight against the usual long odds. She's still here, and still at it. Take a breather and read some of her stuff. She's fairly conservative for certain, but more often than not, she's right when it comes to the designs of the state, and how it must be opposed when they hinder liberty. Isn't that what most SF plots revolve around anyway? (I know, I really don't read enough of them to work out the favored plotting). You'll thank me for it later. Good Luck!
[And no, that's not my real email addy].
Posted by VJ
OK. here she is in a typically scathing essay for Militaryweek.com:A biweekly column by Karen Kwiatkowski, Lt. Col. USAF (ret).
'Ballgowns and Hospital Gowns'
[http://www.militaryweek.com/kk011705.shtml]
She's also written for Salon.com too. Great stuff!
Posted by VJ
No fair, you don't say how the generic episode should finish!
Though having seen many episodes of Buffy, I guess it will inevitably involve Buffy kicking the ass of the monster of the week. Even if aforementioned monster kicked her ass earlier in the episode. Even if the monster is a God or otherwise invincible. Even if it would be so much more interesting if a cunning and peaceful solution was found or, heaven forbid, one of the supporting cast saved the day.
I know they did that once or twice, but that didn't stop Buffy herself becoming drearily predictable after a while (and then horribly self-pitying by the final season). Still classic TV though.
Posted by Vincent
Vincent - you'll find the rest of the episode if you click on the link...
Posted by Kameron Hurley
There's a link? Oh. Yes. I see.
But it doesn't have a big fight at the end! Maybe I'm just thinking of the later series where the writers were running out of ideas.
Posted by Vincent
I find it amusing that following that link, it turns out the author is a Figure From *My* Past. Okay, so more of a "I knew her from a club, not very well" figure, but...it's funny to me!
Posted by Jennifer
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