Thursday, May 12, 2005

Boy Writers. So Cute.

“Well, the best way [to improve your female characters] is to have relationships with a lot of different women. What's the best way to do that? It's to pick up whores.”

- William Vollman

Shit, I knew there was something I was supposed to be doing to be a better writer! I need to pick up more whores!!

(thanks, Julian)

7 comments so far. What are your thoughts?

Anonymous said...

so, does picking up whores work the glutes, the lower back, or both? how many reps is a good routine? should one wear a weight belt?


Posted by jam

Anonymous said...

Straight-leg dead lifting of hos should help strengthen the hams and lower back. 

Posted by David

Anonymous said...

Gah! Shades of Henry Miller, and I think one Henry Miller was enough... 

Posted by Andygrrl

Anonymous said...

Ah, William Vollman the nutjob.

If I recall correctly, he's a graduate of Deep Springs College-- the one where you spend two years in the desert with twelve other men, doing manly things like taking care of horses, shoveling shit, and maintaining a ranch with only the other students, before transferring into an ivy-league school. It's highly regarded among those who regret the decline of monasticism. They send you factsheets if you're male and your SATs are high enough.

Strangely, I did not find their pitch very appealing. And that was before I learned about Vollman and their other fabulous alumni... 

Posted by Alec Austin

Anonymous said...

It's so good to see a man who still shovels his own shit at such an advanced age too. And mark me down as thinking that Henry Miller was slightly more advanced.

There was much to recommend from monasticism, and the average college age chap or lassie could do worse to learn how to shovel shit. This is part and parcel of what you'll be doing in the wider world once your get paroled into it. Only the horses are far nicer and more comprehending than most of your future bosses. And if only the shit you've got to deal with could easily be taken care of in the morning and just thrown on the fertilizer pile. 

Posted by VJ

Anonymous said...

Wait a minute! I remember getting a pamphlet from Deep Springs college back in high school. I would've SWORN there were women in the picture.

Lucky for me I catch fire in direct sunlight, I suppose.

How old is Vollman? If he hearkens back to an age where you didn't make friends with lots of people of the opposite sex in high school and college, then it's possible that the poor antique just hasn't had an opportunity to have female friends.

Or he could just be a turd.

Posted by Patrick

Anonymous said...

I don't know if such a time really existed, Patrick. It might be more of a personality issue. My parents are in thier late 60s and still have good friends from college of both sexes. One of my Dad's friends married Dad's cousin. Once of my Mom's exes is still one of thier good friends. Of course, it could be my parents and thier friends who are the exceptions. 

Posted by Ron O