Friday, May 20, 2005

Here's Another Exciting Installment of: I Want to Live in Big Brother America!!

The best and worst part about democracy? Not only does everybody get to say whatever they want, which is great, but they get to pretend that what they want and believe should legally be what everybody else wants and believes.

Of course, totalitarian states aren't much different, except for that first part. It's just a step to right.

A recent caller to my radio program, Linda, supports the tax (on fast food).

Linda: I'm hoping this tax will motivate people, get them to do their own cooking.

Larry: Why?

Linda: There are too many fat people -- they're all going to fast-food places. . . . I'm so glad they're doing this. . . . Because they're fat, fat, fat. They're eating the wrong food. Stay home, do your own good cooking.

Larry: Do you engage in any kind of conduct that other people might condemn, Linda? Do you drink?

Linda: No . . .

Larry: Do you watch TV?

Linda: Yes, and I watch those terrible commercials from fast-food places, and I get angry. They should tax those commercials, too.

Larry: Maybe they ought to tax you for watching so much television. Why don't you get up and exercise more?

Linda: People have no restraint. They need to be restrained.

Larry: You think the job of the legislature is to restrain them by taxing their behavior?

Linda: They're fat. They're unhealthy, they have diabetes, they have high blood pressure, and they're at the fast-food place -- and their children watch them, and then the children go there, too. It's a disgrace! Cook, cook, cook.

Larry: What do you do when they cook junk . . . when they cook fried foods?

Linda: No, no. They have to cook healthy food.

Larry: How are you going to ensure that? This tax makes the price go up, and more people are cooking at home. How do you guarantee they won't cook the same crap they went out to buy before?

Linda: If we have enough talk about healthy food, someday people will realize they have to cook healthy foods.

Larry: Why don't you contribute to a fund for television Public Service Announcements, advising people what they should do? Why are you going to legislators to tax other people's behavior that you don't like? Unbelievable.

Linda: Why are the Oriental people and European people much healthier than the American people? The American people are obese! . . . I'm horrified by how many obese people there are.

Larry: What about Asians who are here? . . . Are they overweight?

Linda: Not as much as American people.

Larry: Well, how do you suppose they manage not to walk into a restaurant and get fat? And whatever they're doing, why can't everybody else do it, too?

Linda: That food is bad. Your mother can tell you that.

Larry: Should we tax people who order fried chicken at restaurants?

Linda: Why, that's bad, too! Yes, yes, all that bad food should be stopped. . . .

Larry: So tax hikes for health are OK.

Linda: Something has to be done. It's a start.

Larry: Why are you concerned about how fat people are?

Linda: People end up in the hospital, and we're paying for their health problems. Not only that, but even to look at them! They're disgusting to look at! Every time I come back from the store or walk around, I come back furious, seeing how fat they are!

Larry: I bet if you see a fat person smoking a cigarette, you're ready to have a heart attack, aren't you?

Linda: No, cigarettes don't bother me. I'm not a smoker, but it doesn't bother me as much as looking at an obese person. I mean, don't they have mirrors? Don't they look in the mirror and go, "Oh my God, I have to do something about this weight"?

5 comments so far. What are your thoughts?

Anonymous said...

Oh my f*cking Goddess!! --Holly, yes the Holly from Stage III 

Posted by Holly

Anonymous said...

Hey Holly! Long time no see. Glad you found my blog! 

Posted by Kameron Hurley

Anonymous said...

the mind reels, truly 

Posted by alphabitch

Anonymous said...

Wait we get to tax people for being obese! This is genius, it sets a precedent! We can tax people for being uppity then too! I want a tax on self help books, this is putting skilled technicians out of work! I think there should be a tax on Women's Studies classes, it's only encouriging them to be uppity! And a tax on blogging and podcasting! 

Posted by Eli

Anonymous said...

And, of course, this isn't a tax on the obese anyway - lots of thin and "normal" (whatever the fuckt hat's supposed to be) weight people eat at fast food places.

It's a tax on the poor, on people working crap shifts, crap jobs, who've got no time to cook and no money to buy "real" food from the high-priced whole foods grocery stores.

It's just another bullshit shafting of the poor, with a trumped-up excuse about fat parading as = poor health.  

Posted by Kameron Hurley