Thursday, August 18, 2005

Yet Another Open Letter To Viagra Guy

Dear Viagra guy:

Shut the fuck up.

I do not want to talk to you.

In fact, after two days of up-and-down hysterical roommate antics, long hysterical conversations with the boyfriend last night, five more freaked-out e-mails from said boyfriend this morning, and an out-of-bed alarm at 5:30 in the morning, I really have NO FUCKING INTEREST in exchanging pleasantries with you or ANYONE ELSE after I've just stumbled, bleary-eyed and exhausted, into the office at 8 O'CLOCK IN THE FUCKING MORNING.

So don't take my lack of "niceness" as a personal affront.

Before 10 am, I don't really like ANYONE.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Evil Psycho Bitch

P.S. DO NOT TALK TO ME YOU FUCKTARD!!!!

5 comments so far. What are your thoughts?

Anonymous said...

Boy, I know how that feels. I don't talk to God before 10 am. 

Posted by nemohee

Anonymous said...

Arg. It's. Just. Too. Much..... 

Posted by Kameron Hurley

Anonymous said...

I just wish this guy actually read your blog.

And really, if he keeps trying to talk to you, just stare vacantly at him, and then say, "I'm sorry, what? I was thinking about the fact that you can't get an erection without flooding your system with drugs, and how recent reports have talked about repeat users of Viagra building up a tolerance and becoming unable to get an erection at all anymore unless the Viagra is delivered via suppository form with a lot of additional prostate massage, and how that probably makes you just slightly bisexual right there, and, well, I didn't catch the last thing you said." 

Posted by Patrick

Anonymous said...

I must be rather strange, as I function best in the morning. 

Posted by Linnaeus

Linnaeus said...

I must be rather strange, as I function best in the morning