Monday, September 26, 2005

An Encounter with the HR Manager

I bumped into the HR manager in the hall, and she asked if I was any better.

I said, well, no.

JZ, one of the lead architects, is still out with the same thing (he still has PTO time. I burned all my up on writing days and trips to NY). After lamenting about the fact that I've been barely able to get down toast and soup for the last week, she said, cheerfully, "Well, you're getting really skinny!"


That's because I'm FUCKING STARVING!!!!!!!!!!!!


And I know it's all muscle mass. You know the amount of retraining I'm going to have to do?


You're sick and starving, but hey -- YOU'RE LOSING WEIGHT! Be joyful!

I just want some goddamn nachos.

4 comments so far. What are your thoughts?

Anonymous said...

I know, forgive me for this bit of unpleasant history that this post reminded me of. The first mass marketed 'foolproof Fast diet' of the modern era? Well the posh mags were raving about it in the Teens & 20's. It was a simple pill that worked wonders. The pounds would shed off like magic, and all it took was one pill, and you could instantly fit into all those thin stylish 'flapper' fashions. (Thin was Really 'in' then, perhaps for the very first time too). What was in this magic pill that produced such astonishing results? Simple, tape worm eggs. Inside of a week, you were infected (and infectious) and eating for yourself and several ravenous very long intestinal parasites. It was one the FDA's first cases of 'consumer fraud'.

But it did indeed work, and still works all over Africa and Asia to promote malnutrition and starvation around the globe. Effective, simple, and most of the time in adults, sub lethal. Today, most HR Dept's would rave about if it was still legal. 'No Hermonie', she slyly insisted 'we no longer approve of the gastric bypass procedure', 'but we've got this swell pill for your problem'. They'd still use it if they could I bet.

Hope you get on the right side of the porcelain gods soon. Only Faulkner could puke his guts out like that for weeks on end. (OK maybe Harry Crews too). But we're still not sure it produces great literature.
Cheers & Good Luck, 'VJ' 

Posted by VJ

Anonymous said...

No profound musings, just wishing you a quick recovery. (Speedy recovery seems a bit overdue...) 

Posted by ScottM

Anonymous said...

People are incredibly stupid. I really feel for you, I was sick for a long time last spring with the same kind of stuff, and I thought I was going to die (apparently, I don't have much of a tolerance for pain of any kind). I hope you get well soon, and I'm sorry people are dumbasses that try to turn starving into a wonderful thing (weight loss at any cost..geez). 

Posted by Stacie

Anonymous said...

Where are you? Feeling better yet? 

Posted by WillyNilly