Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Bathroom Etiquette

STOP URINATING ON THE GODDAMN FLOOR.

Now, I don't mind if a guy uses the women's restroom, particularly when and if all the men's restrooms are occupied. I've used one of the men's restrooms here before when I really had to pee and they were cleaning the women's restrooms (we have three men's bathrooms and three women's, each a private room).

I don't even mind him coming in and putting up the toilet seat and leaving it up. Doesn't bother me. I have no problem putting a toilet seat back down.

What really fucking bothers me is going into the bathroom, finding the toilet seat up, and a HUGE PUDDLE OF URINE in from of the toilet bowl, perfectly positioned so that when I sit down, my feet will rest in a HUGE PUDDLE OF URINE.

If you can't pee standing up, pee sitting down. I will not think less of you. You will not lose masculinity points. Sit the fuck down if you can't fucking aim.

I suppose I should be happy that he at least put the toilet seat *up* instead of leaving urine all over the seat for me.

This is the *second time today*(!) this has happened. The first time, I put a huge wad of paper towels in from of the bowl to soak up the urine. The second time I went in *someone had shoved the paper towels into the corner of the bathroom* and then PROCEEDED TO URINATE ALL OVER THE FLOOR AGAIN.

And I'm about to clobber the person who leaves two squares of toilet paper on the roll and doesn't change it, too. I have a suspicion I know which woman in the office is doing this. It drives me far crazier than it should.

Ah, work stress. All of the sudden, the little things IRRITATE ME MORE.

I need to go clean my fucking shoes. What is this, 16th century London?

4 comments so far. What are your thoughts?

Anonymous said...

Toilets are simply not made to be used standing up - it's very clear by their design. Have you ever seen an urinoir? Check out the difference! It's got nothing to do with style. Apparently men define themselves against women (so I've been told), thus when women sit, they'll stand, since urinating and manhood are connected in a pretty linear way. I do sympathize, however because of toilet-logic and hygienic reasons, I cannot accept anyone standing, spraying their piss around in my house. And there really is no such thing as a 'clean' squirt.
 

Posted by lou

Anonymous said...

Toilets are simply not made to be used standing up - it's very clear by their design. Have you ever seen an urinoir? Check out the difference! It's got nothing to do with style. Apparently men define themselves against women (so I've been told), thus when women sit, they'll stand, particularly since urinating and manhood are connected in a pretty linear way. I do sympathize, however because of potty-logic and hygienic reasons, I cannot accept anyone standing, spraying their piss around in my house. And there really is no such thing as a 'clean' squirt.
 

Posted by lou

Simon Owens said...

I have a roommate who is very obese, and since I don't think he can see his equipment, it causes him to piss on the floor. He did it all last year like crazy, and it got on our nerves. This year we put a toilet rug around the base of the toilet, so even though I'm sure he still pisses on the floor, at least we can't tell. 

Posted by Simon Owens

kate.d. said...

gack! that is nasty.

on the gross work bathroom front, the bathroom in our office reeked of a mixture of cat pee and vomit for two weeks straight. because only three of us use this particular bathroom, and one of them is not the person who deals with the landlord (our office is pretty much an apartment), the mystery has not yet been solved.

we have a hunch it might have something to do with the rotting wood floor of the cabinet under the sink.

the things we put up with for a paycheck.... 

Posted by kated.d.