Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Today's Message From Corporate:

Dear Peon,

I know you were expecting your 1K bonus this year - which would have been far more than last year because business has doubled! - but we've decided to get rid of bonuses for our Scheming Corporate Reasons. We need to cut our budget because we have a major acquisition coming up, and screwing over the peons was the best way to do that.

And yes, you heard that right! We're only screwing the peons, of course. We really don't care that you're part of a 4-person team who's produced over 50 million dollars of work for this company over the last two years and is currently working in the Most Important Market for our telecommunications branch and the client we're working for.

The upper-execs and CEOs are laughing all the way to the bank. You didn't expect us to cut bonues for the Big Boys, did you? Even though "saving money for the company" would have been far easier if we cut just a handful of exec bonuses instead of culling all the measly under-5K bonuses we send out to all the peons?

What do you think this is, Fantasyland?

Go back to writing books.

All the best,

Corporate America

7 comments so far. What are your thoughts?

orc said...

Oh boy, does that sound familiar; my corporate masters just sent out a piece of mail telling us that they are going to stop giving out stock options for "tax reasons". They're going to stop giving out stock options to _non-executive_ employees, of course; the executives back in Chicago, well, it would be _uncompetitive_ to not continue to give them 30-40 million shares a year.

Oh, this country sucks so hard I can't even work up enough enthusiasm to become enraged anymore.

Kameron Hurley said...


Yea. You wish they'd just say it straight:

We don't give a shit about you guys.

Our Corp brown noser said they've been giving out these bonuses since 1979, but just couldn't this year because they needed to "remain competitive."

Again: couldn't give them to anybody who makes under 150K a year.

Fucktards. It's the ultimate bullshit lie. Give it to us in stock if you're hard up. Disney and AT&T did that when they had jack shit for money. Don't tell me this billion-dollar corporation doesn't have money.

La Gringa said...

Yeah, I got one of those too, only mine came attached to a pink slip.

Kameron Hurley said...

Yea. It could be worse.

I'm bitter (oh yea, just a *bit*), but it could be worse...

VJ said...

This gives me a chance to post this book:
'STRAPPED: Why America's 20- and 30-Somethings Can't Get Ahead'By Tamara Draut.

It's not just you getting scrod. It's an entire generation. And yes, things were slowly improving in the 1990's but now we've been thrown headlong into reverse. Not a good sign. But loyalty USED to mean something to these clowns, and I'm betting it now costs them plenty in turnover and training costs to replace PO'd workers who leave. Your utility no longer matters much to Big Corp, they think they can always outsource everyone for everything. Including security, and finally our sovereignty. Sad but true. I'd write whenever I could and make certain they pay for it as much as possible. Like the old USSR, it's the only possible revenge. Cheers & Good Luck! 'VJ'

Unsane said...

Heh. So watchya gonna do..?

Mike B) said...

Like the State, what the corporation giveth, the corporation can taketh away. The owners of the corporation, own the wealth you create for them. In return, you get what you'll fetch in the marketplace. If THEY are not feeling generous, it's probably because they calculate that you and your fellow workers are too afraid to go elsewhere to sell your skills or (goddess forbid) organize to resist take-aways.

There's a new study which some professors at Northwestern just did which shows in great detail the fact that the great increases in productivity (output per worker) over the last 35 years have not gone back the employees. Rather, they have been pocketed by the owners of the corporations and their top staff e.g. CEOs. If you e-mail me privately, I can dig that url up for you...the paper is a pdf file.