Some Candid Answers to Common Interview Questions

Q: What would you say is your strongest quality?
A: My ability to bullshit on the fly

Q: What would you say is your biggest weakness?
A: This hole in my foot.

Q: What methods would you use to priortize tasks?
A: I would sort them by color and shoot them.

Q: Do you have any questions for me?
A: What kind of cheap ass has a benefit start date of 90 days after hire?

Q: Where do you see yourself in five years?
A: Drinking the blood of my enemies.