Friday, January 11, 2008

Results of My Fitness Test

The results of my health & wellness fitness test came in today at work. The numbers each had little "Average, Normal, Excellent" comments next to them. Here are the comments:

Blood Pressure: Normal

Cardiovascular Fitness: Excellent

Muscular Strength & Endurance: Excellent

Abdominal curl-up: Above Average

Push-Ups: Well-Above Average/Excellent

Flexibility: Excellent

Body Composition (weight & body fat percentage): Well Below Average

hahah ahah aa hahh hahahhahhahaha ah ahahhaha ahhaahhaaa

I know how to get fit. I feel better when I'm fit. Getting thin, though... I'm miserable when I'm thin. Or just dying.

I don't eat bread, donuts, pasta, sweets, potato chips, potatoes, pizza, or fries. I've recently given up snacking on my expensive cheeses and pecans. This leaves me frozen raspberries, Greek yogurt, peanuts, and the occasional dark chocolate bar. I already work out an hour a day, five days a week. Pushing it more than that is going to get ridiculous.

I can tell you exactly what I'd need to excise from my diet in order to improve my "body composition."

Avocados, the walnuts on my salad, the crumbled blue cheese on my salad, switch out my 70 calorie salad dressing to 30 calorie dressing, and take the sour cream off everything.

You know what?

Not worth it.

We'll see what happens now that I'm not allowed to eat out and snack anymore because of my budget restrictions. I'm not going to ditch anymore foods from my diet, or I'll just end up undernourished, bitchy, and anemic.

And next time, I'll do 50 push-ups instead of 40. Just for shits and giggles.

I can be 180 lbs. I'm just not sure what it's worth to me, if I can already do 40 push-ups in a minute.

Cheese and avocados make me happy.

It's not like I have a lot left.

8 comments so far. What are your thoughts?

Jackie M. said...

Going back to 22% = average when 32% is the mean body fat composition for the American woman... I guess "well below average" actually means "average, according to body mass/composition statistics taken on every other woman in American. We just like to make the average American woman feel bad about her body."

Jackie M. said...

(and I'm not at all convinced that cutting out cheese and avocados would make any difference whatsoever to your body weight/composition.)

Kameron Hurley said...

I'm not terribly convinced, either. We're starting to reach "Unhappy" territory here, and it's just not all that worth it to me to weep over calories.

Olive said...

You'd think an advantage of a nice thorough screening with things like push-ups and cardiovascular fitness would be to allow them to skip the body fat and weight category, which is mostly a mediocre stand-in for all those actual measures of health.

Anonymous said...

I have to say the is says some pretty sad things about our society that it can look at you and see an unhealthy person when it's quite obvious you could kick all of their asses if you wanted to...

La Gringa said...

cheeeeeeeeeeeeese....mmmmmm!

Travis said...

meh.. you still kick major ass no matter what your % is

Perpetual Beginner said...

Are we unknown twins or something? Your fitness report reads pretty much exactly like my last fitness report - although, being the YMCA, my fitness report came with a weight-loss plan attached and four free tickets for Y-weight.