Why Am I So Tired?

Went out and watched The Dark Knight again with a couple guys from work, and paid more attention to the gender dynamics that folks were mentioning. And yeah, it's true. It's so classicaly comic-bookey in the good way (good vs. evil, chaos vs. order, epic villian vs. epic hero, etc), and in the bad way. The one female character who's not a wife or girlfriend who gets blown up or introduced merely to act as revenge catalysts for the guys is Ramirez, and you know that part was written for a guy and they congratulated themselves for casting it the way they did.

It was still half an hour too long, and WTF is up with that *entire* Hong Kong sequence?

But anyway, by the end of it I realized I was incredibly tired, and it was only 8:30. This may be because I spent all day proofing our Ops Manual, then spent the next three hours sitting at a movie, and all that non-movement makes you pretty sluggish.

I've also been working at getting back into dating the last couple of weeks, and corresponding with bunches of folks, and I think that took some stuff out of me. Socializing can be hard work for me, even in the written form. Ever since the last breakup, I haven't been as self-confident when it comes to dealing with the dynamics of dating. Not that I was ever good at it, or socializing in general, and hence why I'll make huge efforts for a few weeks and then just... stop. To recover. Because it's just exhausting. It's why I don't have a lot of friends, either. Keeping social relationships together is really tough for me. I'm working at getting better at it, but it's a struggle.

When it comes to self confidence, I've been working hard to get that back, too, but it's slow going. Some of that, I know, is missing because I'm not getting any real writing done. I get all my energy from writing, and I've had nothing to show for it for several months but a bunch of company websites, an Ops Manual, and enough sales letters and corporate correspondence to cripple a horse. It concerns me. And it's not good for me.

In the end, what I mean to say is, it's just been a long week for some reason. A week that needs some sleeping here at the end of it. Some writing during it. And then I need to get back to the gym next week.

Need, need, need.

But for now, the sleeping.