Fuck You, Sugar (muwahaha aha )

Numbers for the last four days:

108
74
94


104
99
58

95
113
73

117
85
67

Now *that's* more like it.

Looks like I can drop my Lantus dose from 18 u back down to 16 again, too, to prevent that evening low.

It's All About Where You're Sitting

"When You Care Enough to Hit Send"

I love these.

The Right Kind of Dead Woman (Not Any Woman Will Do)

"I have something to say about the recent Supreme Court decision that upheld the ban on late-term abortions, whether or not the pregnancy endangers the woman’s life.

I’m a pragmatic contextual ethicist with a spiritual sensibility, and I cannot be silent. I cannot pretend that I don’t understand the next step in this game. If you stop for a moment to think about it, what will be required next is blindingly obvious.

A dead woman."

The right kind of dead woman, of course. There either has to be massive female dead in the thousands or one rich white young beautiful married Christian woman death.

All deaths are not created equal in the media's high court.

Some Things I'm Learning About My Sugar

1) It really is better if I get up between 5-7am instead of 10-11 am. My numbers just look better when I get an early jump start on the day. I'll test around 90-100 between 5-7, but by 10-11, my sugar's already risen cause of the whole dawn phenomenon, and I'll come out at 130-160(!).

2) Jelly beans and graham crackers really are some of the best foods for 50s and 60s low sugar episodes. There's little to no fiber and fat to slow down sugar absorption, so you're not getting initial upswing followed by a delayed upswing that you have to correct later.

3) Cooking up my old Alaska staple of meat, carrots, peas, garlic, onion, tomatoes, parmesan cheese, and rice *without* the rice is actually just as good, and I can save half a unit of dinner insulin.

Impending Feministacon

"The program schedule for WisCon 31 will go live on April 30, 2007."

So, um, where is it?

WTF?

Who comes up with this stuff??

"Everything Will Be All Right"

I just received a check in the mail for $502 from my old employer. Apparently, they've just now gotten around to re-purchasing the company stock that I had with them.

Damn, I get by by the skin of my teeth...

OK, technically I owe $110 of this to my endocrinologist back in Chicago and $200 to the podiatrist, but I can afford my minimum credit card payments for May now and MAYBE EVEN JUNE!

Fucking miracle.

The only thing that pisses me off is the huge surprise at just how much money I actually had stuffed away for old age. I've gotten three checks and close to 5K, and that's *after* taxes. All gone now.

So it goes.

Coming Out

"Transgender Canadians are coming out at younger ages than ever before. Support groups for transgender teens report growing memberships, and are sprouting up beyond the major cities in areas such as Kitchener, Ont., and the Niagara region. One by one, school boards are amending their human rights policies to include gender identity...

In recent years, the success of the gay-rights movement has helped to pave the way for transgender rights, some say. For teenagers, the increasing presence of transsexual role models in the mainstream media has helped make it easier to come out at a younger age."

I think you see a lot of this "coming out at an earlier age" thing among gay, lesbian, and bisexual teens as well, mainly because we do now have so many people who publicly identify themselves as being GLBT.

What I like about that idea is that you're no longer neccessarily struggling in the dark for so long to try and figure out what the hell it is you're feeling and what it means and who that makes you.

The downside is that by giving everything a label and a name, I fear that GBLT identities could become just as fixed as het male/female identities (which are changing, but a lot of people still grow up with fairytale templates).

One more reason to knock them all apart.

The Hidden Costs of of Living in a Hypermasculine Culture

"The trouble with manhood, American-style, is that it is maintained at the expense of every man's feminine side -- the frantically repressed Inner Wussy -- and the demonization of the feminine and the gay wherever we see them."

I do love that even in an article about how we demonize the feminine, the feminine is still described as the "Inner Wussy."

And Miles To Go

Temp work until 12:30 today, followed by one interview at same place I'd been temping that's looking for somebody to assist one of the investment brokers. Bike ride home, lunch, bus ride downtown for second interview for a receptionist/project assistant position that's got a commute out to fucking Springboro and a 7:30 am start time.

Collapsing now.

I have a follow-up second interview with investment firm tomorrow at 9am (they had others to see this afternoon). Both positions are open because they've had temps either burst into tears and quit or just not show up. Repeatedly.

I always end up getting called in for jobs that no one else will do. Ha ha.

There are two big problems with my resume. The first being that I've only stayed at one job longer than a year, and the second... my Master's Degree.

Everybody expects that I'll ask for 60K. And yeah, it would make sense that I'd want 60K... (which I do!) until you look at aforementioned job history where I've never been anywhere more than 3 years. You need to work up to that salary. And work somewhere where you can do that. I just never cared about my jobs all that much. I'll put in my 8-5 and work my butt off when I'm there, but when I'm done for the day, I'm done. I don't bring work home.

I'd rather be writing.

Both promising interviews, but only one that I want. C'mon investment firm with the 3-mile bikeride commute!

At this point, of course, beggars can't be choosers, but I wouldn't mind a little frosting with my toast.

How Did I Get On This List?

"Occupation" is turning out to be one of those stories that, like "Genderbending," I didn't realize anybody actually liked, read, or cared about until a year after it was published.

Now Occupation's on a "notable stories of 2006" list and reprinted in a Year's Best SF.

And, to be honest, of the three stories I wrote at about the same time that covered similiar themes, this was actually the one I felt had the least chance at getting published and getting any attention.

Goes to show how much writers know...

I'm starting to get that's just how it goes. Once something's out there, it really does sink or swim on its own. It sort of stops being yours.

Special Women's Issue!

The Onion's Special Women's Issue.

Yeah, I Need to Get Back to Watching Fights...

I didn't see the fight, but knowing the result sure makes me miss watching `em. I was surprised at the result, actually, even having seen De La Hoya when he was seriously out of fighting shape.

Fucking Plot

Fucking plot.

OK, But Only if I'm Played By Christian Bale

You Are Batman

Billionaire playboy by day. Saving the world by night. And you're not even a true superhero. Just someone with a lot of expensive toys!

What Superhero Are You?

One For the Road

Conversations With My Roommate(s)

Ian and I went out on a beer and pie run tonight. On the way back, I mentioned I'd sent out some query letters today.

"Wow," Ian said, "if you got a big fat check for that book, you might almost be cool again."

State of the Union

Had to turn down interviews for a couple of short-term temp assignments because... well, after I was told I wasn't going to be interviewed for one of them, I went ahead and booked Wiscon for some extra days, and now I'm committed to doing that instead of a possible 2-week assignment for 20 an hour.

Dammit fucking hell.

But people are calling me now, and that's a huge improvement over the last few weeks. I'll take what I can get.

I've sent out some preliminary query letters for GW, and I'll be sending some more soon. The line edits are pretty much done, I'm just re-reading the last 80 pages or so and making sure my chapters are still sequential after some of the cutting I did.

Stephanie works at a hospital, so she asked around for some endocrinologist recommendations, and I have a name and number for a new one.

I'm interested in starting work on some new writing projects, but GW fine-tuning and marketing has been taking up a lot of energy. After this weekend, I should be able to finally start working on some original material again. It occurred to me the other day that I've been working on this book since 2003.

Spent the morning deferring my student loans and trying to find hardship applications for my credit cards, without much luck. Not sure what I'll do with those.

I wish I was doing a lot more - going to school, boxing classes - but I'd settle for being able to pay my bills.

I'm telling you: the whole starving artist thing is seriously overrated.

Gender Testing of Female Atheletes

Are you a boy or a girl? Flash presentation.

You know, I always wondered, do/did they ever test people competing as *male* atheletes to make sure they're *really* men, or has this always been some kind of wacked-out, let's make sure the girls are protected macho thing?