"It had seemed like the beginning of happiness, and Clarissa is still sometimes shocked, more than thirty years later, to realize that it was happiness; that the entire experience lay in a kiss and a walk, the anticipation of dinner and a book. The dinner is by now forgotten; Lessing has been long overshadowed by other writers; and even the sex, once she and Richard reached that point, was ardent but awkward, unsatisfying, more kindly than passionate. What lives undimmed in Clarissa's mind more than three decades later is a kiss at dusk on a patch of dead grass, and a walk around a pond as mosquitoes droned in the darkening air. There is still that singular perfection, and it's perfect in part because it seemed, at the time, so clearly to promise more. Now she knows: That was the moment, right then. There has been no other."
- The Hours. Michael Cunningham.
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Night Thoughts
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Sheet, that's really an apt description of middle age angst. Sad elegiac & wistful. There's better moments for most, but moments just the same.
Battles. We're all fighting the same ones, and losing at about the same rate or worse. I can't pretend to comprehend where you're at, but the weight deal is something that bedevils more than 50% of the population. Past a certain point, all we can do is try and hold off the inevitable and slow the train down somewhat. [Some days it all winds up just like the 'Wreck of the Old 97']. Now that's really depressing. So perhaps start looking for dates as entertainment. Sometimes you can be surprised and find like minded friends out there. But mostly people hook up in college or from grad school. It's a somewhat more prepared battle field and people will come there with common expectations. That may be frightening or still more depressing by turns. Not all of them will be mature, but it is a more mature audience. And every true talent needs some deeper appreciation from someone who will know them better. (Still the Clarion writing pals can do wonders here right?)
Posted by VJ
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