How much sex, exactly, makes a woman a slut? And why's having a lot of sexual partners still considered a "bad thing" for women, but a matter of "gaining useful experience" for men?
Friday, July 14, 2006
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Labor is hard work. Forcing women to labor against their will - is slavery.
"I'm not afraid of storms,
for I'm learning to sail my ship."
-Louisa May Alcott
"No person is your friend who demands your silence." -Alice Walker
"I never expect men to give us liberty. No, women, we are not worth it until we take it." - Voltairine de Cleyre
"The vote means nothing to women. We should be armed." -Edna O'Brien
"The dogma of woman's complete historical subjection to men must be rated as one of the most fantastic myths ever created by the human mind." -Mary Ritter Beard
"They sicken of the calm that know the storm." -Dorothy Parker
"I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine." -Rita Rudner
"Adventure is worthwhile in itself." -Amelia Earhart
"Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin." -Grace Hansen
"I never realized until lately that women were supposed to be the inferior sex." -Katharine Hepburn
"Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow talent to the dark place where it leads." -Erica Jong
"I have always had a dread of becoming a passenger in life." -Margareth II, Queen of Denmark:
"I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do any thing. Not one single thing." -Dorothy Parker
"You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you." -Mary Tyler Moore
"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." -Anais Nin
"No more tears now; I will think about revenge." -Mary, Queen of Scots
"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." -Eleanor Roosevelt
"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." -Muriel Strode
"People call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute." -Rebecca West:
"If you're going to hold someone down you're going to have to hold on by the other end of the chain. You are confined by your own repression." -Toni Morrison
"It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees." -Delores Ibarruri
"Study as if you were going to live forever; live as if you were going to die tomorrow." -Maria Mitchell
"This is the precept by which I have lived: Prepare for the worst; expect the best; and take what comes." -Hannah Arendt
"If you surrendered to the air, you could ride it." -Toni Morrison
"I have no regrets. I wouldn't have lived my life the way I did if I was going to worry about what people were going to say." -Ingrid Bergman
"We know that we can do what men can do, but we still don't know that men can do what women can do. That's absolutely crucial. We can't go on doing two jobs." -Gertrude Stein
"The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." -Gloria Steinem
"It's all make believe, isn't it?" -Marilyn Monroe
"I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman." — Virginia Woolf
"I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body." -Elayne Boosler
"Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, 'She doesn't have what it takes.' They will say, 'Women don't have what it takes.'" -Clare Boothe Luce
"Soon they'll be telling you you can't be Batman, Shakespeare, President, or God. Little fat baby, going on schoolgirl, you can be anyone, but it won't be easy." -Marilyn Hacker
"We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters." -Gloria Steinem
"Remember our heritage is our power; we can know ourselves and our capacities by seeing that other women have been strong." -Judy Chicago
"My grandfather once told me that there are two kinds of people: those who work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was less competition there." -Indira Gandhi
"I want to walk through life instead of being dragged through it." - Alanis Morissette
"Nothing will work unless you do." -Maya Angelou
"Feminism is the radical notion that women are people." -Cheris Kramare and Paula Treichler
You pack the guns. I'll make the pancakes.
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Labor is hard work. Forcing women to labor against their will - is slavery.
"I'm not afraid of storms,
for I'm learning to sail my ship."
-Louisa May Alcott
"No person is your friend who demands your silence." -Alice Walker
"I never expect men to give us liberty. No, women, we are not worth it until we take it." - Voltairine de Cleyre
"The vote means nothing to women. We should be armed." -Edna O'Brien
"The dogma of woman's complete historical subjection to men must be rated as one of the most fantastic myths ever created by the human mind." -Mary Ritter Beard
"They sicken of the calm that know the storm." -Dorothy Parker
"I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine." -Rita Rudner
"Adventure is worthwhile in itself." -Amelia Earhart
"Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin." -Grace Hansen
"I never realized until lately that women were supposed to be the inferior sex." -Katharine Hepburn
"Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow talent to the dark place where it leads." -Erica Jong
"I have always had a dread of becoming a passenger in life." -Margareth II, Queen of Denmark:
"I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do any thing. Not one single thing." -Dorothy Parker
"You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you." -Mary Tyler Moore
"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." -Anais Nin
"No more tears now; I will think about revenge." -Mary, Queen of Scots
"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." -Eleanor Roosevelt
"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." -Muriel Strode
"People call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute." -Rebecca West:
"If you're going to hold someone down you're going to have to hold on by the other end of the chain. You are confined by your own repression." -Toni Morrison
"It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees." -Delores Ibarruri
"Study as if you were going to live forever; live as if you were going to die tomorrow." -Maria Mitchell
"This is the precept by which I have lived: Prepare for the worst; expect the best; and take what comes." -Hannah Arendt
"If you surrendered to the air, you could ride it." -Toni Morrison
"I have no regrets. I wouldn't have lived my life the way I did if I was going to worry about what people were going to say." -Ingrid Bergman
"We know that we can do what men can do, but we still don't know that men can do what women can do. That's absolutely crucial. We can't go on doing two jobs." -Gertrude Stein
"The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." -Gloria Steinem
"It's all make believe, isn't it?" -Marilyn Monroe
"I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman." — Virginia Woolf
"I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body." -Elayne Boosler
"Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, 'She doesn't have what it takes.' They will say, 'Women don't have what it takes.'" -Clare Boothe Luce
"Soon they'll be telling you you can't be Batman, Shakespeare, President, or God. Little fat baby, going on schoolgirl, you can be anyone, but it won't be easy." -Marilyn Hacker
"We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters." -Gloria Steinem
"Remember our heritage is our power; we can know ourselves and our capacities by seeing that other women have been strong." -Judy Chicago
"My grandfather once told me that there are two kinds of people: those who work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was less competition there." -Indira Gandhi
"I want to walk through life instead of being dragged through it." - Alanis Morissette
"Nothing will work unless you do." -Maya Angelou
"Feminism is the radical notion that women are people." -Cheris Kramare and Paula Treichler
15 comments so far. What are your thoughts?
Any. Because sex for men is supposed to be about taking something away, and sex for women is supposed to be about having something taken. If a woman sleeps with a man, he's put something over on her. He wins, she loses.
And you know, I just think that's so depressing.
It's that terrible belief that all sex that women have must be, in some way, degrading.
And, you know, as a woman who likes sex, I think that's criminal.
It's funny, because all these dumb stereotypes, you actually get people one-on-one, and all of the sudden guys really want "emotional connection" and a houseful of kids, and a partner who actually *likes* sex (and no, I don't think I was being buttered up; I was pretty well buttered by the time I heard this stuff from guy buddies and lovers).
I just hate all the lying and broad generalizations so that guys can save face and women can all pretend that first-time sex is some kind of fun, mystical experience.
Arg!
If women who have sex lose and men who have sex win, does that mean in lesbian sex everybody loses?
And with gay sex everybody wins?
-- Jenn
What about the bisexuals?????
Everyone's always forgetting about the bisexuals, dammit!!!!
What about orgies full of bisexuals? They must all come out about even, or just come a lot.
OH!
But, yea... cultural bullshit sucks.
Bisexuals are the only real exchange economy.
-- Jenn
In the immortal words of Stephen Colbert (on the occasion, I believe, of the Jeff Gannon controversy): "Remember, it's not gay if you're the guy."
And everyone knows that the only purpose of lesbian sex is to turn straight guys on. And the only women who have lesbian sex are bisexual, because actual lesbians are only lesbians because they hate sex. Lesbians have no sex for more or less the same reasons that feminists have no sense of humor.
As for straight and bisexual women, they're supposed to like sex, but only because they're also supposed to like being degraded. Which, however, does not make it any less degrading. If anything, it makes it even more degrading.
(God, what a world, what a world.... I think what really gets to me is how even when we don't buy into it we still have to swim in the subtext.)
As for straight and bisexual women, they're supposed to like sex, but only because they're also supposed to like being degraded. Which, however, does not make it any less degrading. If anything, it makes it even more degrading.
Well, that does it!
I can never have sex again with either sex. I'll be doubly degraded...
re: Colbert.
Exaaaaactly.
Oh, for the day when somebody can see sex - between anybody, or everybody at once! - as something other than a power struggle.
Or, in the case of romance novels, as a power-struggle-in-the-midst-of-a-religious-experience.
I think that it depends on who is doing the opining. I have great gal friends who have sexual appetites that I'm convinced would kill most ordinary human beings. I also know men who are very cautious about sex.
I think the term slut really isn't about a woman having too much sex; rather it's about the perception to an outsider that a woman doesn't respect herself. Which is a fallacy.
I think that David's comment is kind of sad, though. That's not what sex is supposed to be ABOUT. It's what some people's misperception of sex is perhaps.
It's a widespread cultural misperception of sex that still affects people who don't misperceive it that way. "Sad" doesn't begin to describe it.
just to make your discussion a bit more complete, who wins and loses if in a threesome of a bisexual, a m to f transgendered and a f to m transgendered? have a nice weekend...
Yes!!! I was soooo hoping somebody would add in a transgendered person!!!
We still need an intersexed person in order to complete the set, tho...
So, if a train leaves Cleveland heading for Columbus at 70 miles per hour, and a straight woman, a gay man, a bisexual man, a straight man, a lesbian, a bisexual woman, a m to f transexual a f to m transexual, and an intersex person on board decide to have an orgy, who wins and who loses, and to what extent?
And with that number of people in the orgy, will everyone be satisfied by the time they reach Columbus?
I think properly calibrating comparative levels of winning and losing probably requires decimal places at this point. "Dude, I totally got laid last night! I won by 3.729!"
-- Jenn
Jenn, you could totally make an excel spreadsheet for that...
I'm sure of it!
Really, I think there's quite the untapped market here for sex accountants. In this post-modern world, you're just going to have to pay someone to keep track of your score.
-- Jenn
Not quite the same thing, but close: "The Beijing Street Prostitute's MBA lecture." (Not true, it would appear, unfortunately.)
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