Tuesday, April 15, 2008


I passed my first economics test tonight! Yes, that's right... I got a C! Seriously, have you seen the graphs? The graphs, oh I loathe them.

Hey, I'll take the C.

In other news, I'm mostly settled now in the new place. Furniture was delivered and mostly put together. The not-Boyfriend dropped by and gave me an old TV that's pretty ghetto looking but has a clear picture.

We ended up going out to dinner and talking for four hours. It was a good talk, pretty adult, actually, and we covered a lot of ground. I love it when we talk cause we're both so fucking honest, and when he's willing to talk straight, well.. yeah, it was a fun, adult talk, and fun to hang out with him again. Hearing about all his latest antics, though... well, it was sad to realize that I've lost the trust I used to have in him. I don't know if that will ever come back. That trust has been pretty well crushed over the last six months. It's something that will have to be rebuilt, if possible. I'm not sure he's up for it. But then, I'm not sure I'm up for it right now either.

Suffice to say, it was good to talk, and to realize, once again, that though we're powerfully attracted to each other, he's got way too much bullshit he needs to work out on his own to make anything feasible right now.

And, let's face it, yo: I deserve somebody who realizes I am full of awesome! :)

In other news, there are dates and marketing homework and I just finished some grocery shopping. I'm taking out a date of mine to see Spamalot next week, which should be fun. I'm not exactly hooked into anything serious right now, and that suits me just fine, to be honest. I like going out and getting to know folks.

It's fun to sit around and snuggle on the couch and hold hands and go out and do stuff without having to deal with that whole "commitment freakout" thing - from me or from whoever I'm dating. I never dated in highschool, really, or even college. I didn't start seriously dating, as in, dating in the sense that most folks mean it, until I was 25. I have some catching up to do. I always waited until I liked somebody a whole lot, then fell hard, went monogamous, and battled it out for a year or three.

This isn't what most folks do, apparently.

More than that, though, you know, I really like my life. I like where I'm at. I feel confident and sexy and powerful. I love my job, and my new digs. I'm going back to school (and passing, if nothing else!). I have my sweet book contract. Now, all I need is a dog and a bigger social circle out here and a house eventually and I'm set.

See, the thing is, I got the life I wanted. Or, rather, I'm continuing to work toward getting it.

And I'm really happy with where I am so far.

Wow. This apartment thing was huge for my self-esteem, you know? There was just something I needed... I needed to be able to say I could survive on my own again. I needed my own space.

The life I wanted.