Monday, January 05, 2009

I'm So Tired

It really is stunning how many spoons get taken up arguing with five different people at three different medical companies for two and a half hours, then breaking and spending all afternoon and evening prepping for the next go-round.

They're important, worthwhile spoons, though, which is why I'm doing it. Spending these spoons now means having more spoons later. But my god, am I feeling totally mentally useless right now.

As annoyed as I was at the crappy batch of pods I got last go-round with the 20% failure rate, I haven't had any trouble the last three months with the new batch. It's been sublime. Using a pump means I'm more sane, stable, and sugar-happy than I've ever been. I have at least 75% fewer low sugar episodes. I can turn the pump off to avoid a low instead of eating to correct it. I maintain the most stable blood glucose number I've ever seen. I can't wait to get my A1c done.

Sure, there's the hardware changing and moving it around and all that, but jabbing yourself with needles four times a day isn't exactly hardware-less.

And because of the pump, I'm mentally and physically more "normal" than I've been in years.

And they want to take that away from me.

That's what I'm spending my spoons on.

And I'm so tired.

Tomorrow I get to do it all over again.

I need to be subsidized...

... Or, where are all MY rewards for bad busines practices?

The Details of Living

If you do not suffer from a life-ending condition and have never had to deal with health insurance companies, medical providers, pharmacies, drug companies, employer HR administators, and the like - all at once - count yourself among the bless'd.

It only took five phone calls with three different companies over two and a half hours for me to get my insurance providor to admit that they'd processed my medical supplies claim for my first shipment of Omnipods incorrectly.

On Weds, the 7th, I get to participate in a conference call between CCS medical - which provides my pods - and the "rapid resolution specialist" at United Healthcare.

This is because the 7th is the date I'm due for my next shipment of pods, which CCS will not ship until United Healthcare pays their 6-month-overdue bill

I have exactly 6 days worth of pods left. Baring pod failures.

You, too, could spend hours and hours of your life and mental energy on fun and exciting battles like this one, with five different reps from three different companies!

But it is living, which is something?

This is what it's like to be reminded, daily, that you're in a constant state of dying in America.

Imagine how much more productive a citizen I could be if I didn't have this constant drain of mental energy sucked into the bare necessities of living on insulin produced in a lab? What could I accomplish, living in an optimum state of health? How much better would our society be if each and every one of us was able to work, play, live, in a state of optimum health? Without the constant, nagging worry? The shuttle between medical providers, the back-and-forth arguments, the paperwork, the headache, the constant, aching, sleep-depriving stress of wondering if you'll get the medical care, coverage, and suppies you need at prices you can afford... Imagine a world without that worry.


Universal healthcare isn't scary. What's scary is living without it.