Open Letter to the Fuckers (and friend) I Owe Money To:

Dear Corporate Visa Fucktards:

Why, yes, I realize my corporate card account balance is more than 30 days past due. In fact, it stresses me out, too! It would be a great thing if my fucking employers actually reimbursed me on time, so that I could pay you expediantly and not continue to fuck up my already fucked up credit rating.

Believe me, I would love to pay you so that I didn't have to *pay* late charges incurred because my company is full of accounting snobs, late charges that are not, in fact, reimbursed!

Oh, how I would love to pay you!

But I am a lowly fucking admin, I have no money in savings, and you are just one of many, many people I owe a significant amount of money to.

In fact, you're the luckiest of the bunch, because you will, in fact, get paid within the next four weeks, when the payroll snobs get their shit together and give me my goddamn money back.

Someday, I will have a real job that pays me real money. Today is not that day.

Sincerely Yours,

Corporate Slave

___________________

Dear Great Lakes Student Loan Fucktards:

Why yes, I realize that my fucking student loan payment is due the 20th of every month. Did you fuckers look through your fucking accounts and notice that *I pay you every single month by the end of every month* before you started leaving pissed-off "you fucking owe us money" messages on my machine?

Have I missed a payment in the last year?

Why, fuck, no I haven't!

In fact, your fucking check went in the fucking mail today, so you can kiss my ass.

Sincerely yours,

Super Bitch

__________________

Dear Dell,

Yea. I lost last month's payment.

Sue me.

Your check's in the mail.

Sincerely Me,

Kameron the Great

____________________

Dear Jenn,

Yea. Sorry. You can cash the check tomorrow.

- Kameron
_____________________


The beat goes on.

Serenity

Yay!

All my friends are together again!

Chicago SF Signing

There's a big group signing here in Chicago on Sunday, May 1st at the Borders on State Street, downtown.

Signers include Cory Doctorow, Kevin J. Anderson, Lois McMaster Bujold, Eric Flint, Janis Ian, Geoffrey Landis, Todd McCaffrey, Jack McDevitt, Rebecca Moesta Anderson, Mike Resnick, Benjamin Rosenbaum, Steven H Silver, Laurel Winter and W.R. Yates.

When: Sunday, May 1, 11AM-1PM

Where: Borders, 150 North State Street, Chicago, IL (312.606.0750)

Good Morning, Chiklits

Yum. Coffee.

Reminds me I'm alive.

Fun stuff:

Penguins - the next terrorist threat!

Hô Xuân Hu'o'ng

And:

But since 1980, the two groups have taken diverging paths. Women without undergraduate degrees have remained at about the same rate, their risk of divorce or separation within the first 10 years of marriage hovering at around 35 percent. But for college graduates, the divorce rate in the first 10 years of marriage has plummeted to just over 16 percent of those married between 1990 and 1994 from 27 percent of those married between 1975 and 1979.

What, you mean, smart, older, wiser people generally make better marriage decisions? No way! Marry `em young, when they don't know any better.

::snort::

Not a study you're going to see toted around next Valentine's Day.

(thanks, Jenn)

My Favorite Phone Call of The Day

Yellow calling me from the scoping meeting with the client and having me walk the client through their own site tracking system so that they can access the files I've uploaded onto their server.

Ah. Corporate America. Nobody has any idea what they're doing.

Oh, Canada

OTTAWA - Women in Canada should soon have access to the morning-after pill without a doctor's prescription.

The drug levonorgestrel, sold under the brand name Plan B, has been approved for sale directly from pharmacies, Health Canada confirmed Wednesday.

Which, of course, begs the question: if we could do an over-the-counter plan B deal in the US, would we then have check-out clerks who refused to sell you plan B for "moral reasons"?

And yet, we've got people selling liquor and tobacco products. Oh, yes, tobacco kills! What about the Culture of Life!!??. How can those check-out clerks *sleep* at night!!!

But shit, pharmacists are hopping over the line all over the place.

This isn't what I signed up for. Where's my rights? I think we all need a little lesson of the "not everybody thinks like I do" variety.

Think of the amazing peace, love, and understanding that would engender.

Pretty scary.

Stealing is Bad.

This is just great. Makes me want to be a University prof.

Jenn, you might be able to use this one someday....

There Were More Terrorist Attacks Worldwide in 2004 Than in 1985

HAHAHAHahahahahhahahhahah haahahaha hahah

via SistersTalk

The Update: Still Employed, Almost Not-Sick, Still in Workout Limbo, Still in Writing Limbo, Still... Alive

Finally trekked into PP and said, "Do I just have a Super Yeast Infection from Hell, or what?"

And she's like, "Yea, you just have a Super Yeast Infection from Hell. Here's some Super Medication. Get yourself some over the counter treatment next time right away instead of waiting a week hoping it'll just go away, cause otherwise, it does what it's been doing, lingering and recurring when you're stressed."

Yea.

I seem to have beat this year's sinus problems as well now, but only just. Starting to feel totally human again. It's been a long time.

Also getting off the pill and getting an IUD next Friday, which'll help the depression upsurge, the mood swings, the breakthrough bleeding, lower sex drive, and all-around wackiness I've been dealing with since I got it (oh yes, you all realize, *this* is why it's been so quiet at Brutal Women lately). Between sicknesses of various kinds and general wackiness, I just haven't had the energy to write full-blown rants. My workout schedule crashed and burned, and I need to fucking get back to my fucking MA classes. I'm barely keeping a healthy diet together.

I also found out I owe the equivalent of 1/3 my monthly income in taxes.

For fuck's sake.

My body's stressed out about what I'll be doing after this next year - I still plan to take the LSATs, but more and more, I'm concerned about that path. All I fucking want to do is write books. Do I want to add 100K of debt and have all my free time taken up with law? Yea, it'd be fun to learn - if I could afford it and if it didn't suck the rest of my life from me. More and more, I just want to move to a new city, get a job, and write. Or continue on in this city, and write. But money's a big issue, and I don't do well living on my own. Yea, I can live by myself: I just notice that I do a lot better, mentally, living with other people.

So it's a concern. I'm mulling it over. Things seem to be sliding back into place, but it's taking a long time. I have a year to figure my shit out.

Looking forward to Wiscon at the end of next month. Looking forward to time away from this brain-numbing job.

Looking... forward. In the mean time, things'll be a little off around here. I'm considering shutting down the blog all together, because I think it takes away from my real writing. The alternative is to just continue with these shorter linkage-posts, which are easy, and rant when I feel like ranting, but not make a production out of it. I just don't have the time.

We'll see how it pans out.

Yes, this is my City

They should be selling tickets on e-bay, you know:



All hail... the druid?

Playing Dress-Up With Wes Anderson

I love people.

via boingboing

How to Score With Chicks (and Real Women, Too)

Nicky counts `em down:

1. Don't be the biggest loser in the whole fucking world

and so on.

Eat Well and Exercise Regularly, but Still "Fat"? Guess What, You're Probably Healthy! Just the Way You Felt All Along!

Got three different taps this mornings about this article in the NY Times (thanks Jenn, B and Maureen!) about the latest, most extensive study done on the relationship between "fat" and "health."

And guess the fuck what?

People who are overweight but not obese have a lower risk of death than those of normal weight, federal researchers are reporting today.

and:

And being very thin, even though the thinness was longstanding and unlikely to stem from disease, caused a slight increase in the risk of death, the researchers said.

Well, yea.

Here's the take from the AP version of the story at Alas, A Blog.

I'm going to live forever. Just look in my refrigerator.

Not at my pants size.

Fucktards.

Or, to sum up:

"The take-home message from this study, it seems to me, is unambiguous," Dr. Glassner said. "What is officially deemed overweight these days is actually the optimal weight."

Music & Writing

James Schellenberg, new columnist at Strange Horizons, has got a piece up in the latest issue where he's quizzed a handful of writers about their music-listening habits while writing.

Oddly enough, James asked for my own take on the subject, and it's sorta cool to see me listed up there with Cory Doctorow, James Patrick Kelly, Louise Marley, Nalo Hopkinson, Maureen McHugh and Suzy McKee Charnas.

Most excellent. Go check it out.

Drugs & Depression

Depression, in our culture, is what tuberculosis was 100 years ago: illness that signifies refinement.

Good Things

Deana Carter's CD The Story of My Life. That whole thing United Airlines has, where they play the same four songs from the same six CDs over and over in constant rotation throughout their flights for months on end? Works really well to lure business travelers into buying said CDs...

Michael Faber's incredibly cool and creepy Under the Skin, a book about a female human-looking creature who goes out and picks up male hitchhikers and... well, you'll just have to read it and find out. Deeply creepy, very good. Definately my kind of book.

Chicago's Riveria Theatre, right around the corner from my house. Went to a Westerberg concert there on Friday with B, and had a good time. The acoustics aren't great, but it's a neat venue. Next time, I'm going to buy lots of beer, too. There's just something about a smoke-filled rock concert that makes one want to consume large quantities of alcohol...

Good Morning, Chiklits

Ah, yes, enjoyed a nice, relaxing weekend, arrived comfortably late to work in order to catch up on some sleeping, and am enjoying an absolutely great warm sunny Spring day. The leaves are on the trees, the flowers are blooming, my basil is spouting, and I didn't over-creamer my coffee this morning.

Excellent.

BLAH BLAH BLAH

I'm so leaving early today. As you all can see, the workplace has fried my brain, and there will be nothing but mostly fluff, links, and very little commentary beyond "FUCKTARDS!!" for the rest of the day...

Oh, For Fuck's Sake

Here we go again.

Let's get over this sex thing, OK? We'll lead, happier, healthier lives that way.

Sheesh.

Friday Beer Blogging

OH, YES, OH YES, I'VE MADE IT TO FRIIIIIIDAAAAYYY!

What a bastard of a week.